


The Slytherin's Prank

by Dratter (Ragdoll_llodgaR)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Harry, BAMF Harry Potter, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Harry, Dark Harry Potter, Dumbledore Bashing, Dumbledore Being a Dick, Gen, Hermione Granger Bashing, Ron Weasley Bashing, Sandwich saving Harry Potter, Slightly crack, Slytherin Harry, Tom Riddle eating PB&J, Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10740912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragdoll_llodgaR/pseuds/Dratter
Summary: The Slytherin's never retaliate when the other houses target them for April Fools Day... until now! The prank is perfect, Slytherin tested and approved and sure to work effectively and entertain them fully. That was until someone (Harry) had to come around and ruin it, along with all their preconceived notions.





	The Slytherin's Prank

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, wrote this months ago and planned to make it into a full story, but I really needed to buckle down and actually get some of my story's out into the community, considering I have over 30 in the making, and all intending to be hella long.

The Slytherins weren’t ones to do pranks out right, sure they got back at others through passive aggressive means, which usually resembled a prank, but they never set anything up in hopes of messing with people who hadn’t done anything to them. Every April Slytherins become the main target to every houses pranks, year after year of potion laced foods, invisible traps, and stupid tricks. This year, they would prank back. They spent the week before planning out how to execute their prank where one house wouldn't be warned before the others, since their prank would happen all at once to all the houses. 

Their plan was to make it so none of the houses could get into the great hall, it wasn’t a great prank, but it was the first to many small ones they had planned for specific people who pranked them regularly, surprisingly Fred and George Weasley were being left alone since they pranked every house fairly, which they appreciated. So the night before the first all the Slytherin broke into four groups, Group 1 and 2 headed towards the kitchens, Group 1 made it so no wizards could enter the kitchen for 24 hours while Group 2 cast a spell on the Hufflepuff common room opening so that no Hufflepuff, or adult, could walk in or out of the common room until the first class starts, making them all miss breakfast, and late for Potions.

Group 3 made it so the Ravenclaws could walk halfway to the Great Hall before a similar shield would commence keeping them from their breakfast and class, the final group put up a barrier at the doors of the Hall that would keep all houses besides Slytherin from entering, they couldn’t wait to watch as the glutenous Gryffindor house tried to get through the doorway only to be stopped, and have to watch as the entire Slytherin house eats happily. The groups all combined their magic to make the wards strong, making it so it would take about four full grown wizards to drop the spells, so they were positive that the spells would hold until the time was complete. Every Slytherin got up extra early to head to the Great Hall, all excited for the show of Gryffindors, especially since the Gryffindors all tended to come at once, and usually following behind the Golden Trio.

Ron woke up Harry like usual, ‘starving’ he said as he dragged the still half asleep Gryffindor down the stairs to meet up with Hermione. As usual the whole house was conveniently waiting for them to go first, seriously Harry felt like ripping each of their heads of, why must they follow us around? It was torture enough having to hang out with the clueless wonder and Ms. Know-it-all, but being followed like a mama duck? He pretended to not notice, all innocent as usual as they slipped through the portrait hole, and WOW look at that, every other Gryffindor wants to head to breakfast conveniently after they left. Strange, not. He snorted internally, sneering just as internally as Ron and Hermione bickered the whole way. 

The doors to the hall were open as usual, what wasn’t usual was the fact that every house table, save Slytherin which was suspiciously full, was empty. As he approached he saw Draco and his goons spin to watch them, the whole of Slytherin following their lead, did they finally prank back? It was about time. Seriously, he was almost embarrassed to be a hidden snake when he learned that the Slytherin never pranked back! He walked in through the doors and started to head towards the table when he heard an indignant ‘HEY!’ and ‘Ooph’ from Ron and Hermione. 

Harry realised then that he had entered alone. He looked back to see all the Gryffindors outside the door, Hermione and Ron at the front, Ron pounding uselessly at a invisible barrier, Harry bit his cheek to keep from laughing, and turned to look at the Slytherin table only to be met with incredulous stares, a few slack jawed faces, every green tied student was looking at him in utter shock. Was he supposed to be trapped as well? It would make sense… but what was the spell supposed to do? Hold back light wizards? Oh god he hopes that's not it, cause that would be his luck, but there were no other students, and he knew there were dark Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws (more in the latter) so that's not it… that means the spell most likely held back students who weren’t in…. Fuck. Of course they would do it against any one not in their house, how does he explain this? Does he play it off? It’s going to blow up in his face anyway, most of Gryffindor will ostracize him when they figure out why he got through, hell the whole school will, including Slytherin most likely, there's no point in playing it off, ‘I guess it’s time to be myself.’ 

He sighed dejectedly before looking over at the struggling Gryffindors, he watched as tears literally built up in Ron’s eyes, pig. He couldn’t bite his cheek hard enough to hold back the smirk, he didn’t think the redhead would actually cry! He turned back to the Slytherin, some of them followed his line of sight when they saw him smirking, and those who had were smirking as well, it was a pathetic sight, but seeing the Gryffindors struggle against the barrier only reminded them that Harry Bloody Potter walked through it, only a Slytherin could. They knew it, they had proof of it!

“So, I’m going to assume you guys finally pulled your shit together and pranked back, not a bad idea, really. Making it so none of the other houses could eat, I assume you made it so the other two houses were out of sight as to not tip off the Gryffindors. Knowing you guys you probably made it set on a timer to make the houses late as well,” Harry realised suddenly that Hufflepuffs had Snape first and snorted, letting a sharp grin encase his face, “and the Hufflepuffs have Snape first.” the Slytherins were all staring at him either in contemplation, or shock that he actually figured out what they were doing, the Gryffindors had all quieted down to hear their ‘Savior’ speak, he nearly sneered at them, but decided not to risk getting wrinkles to convey his dislike. As expected, Draco Malfoy was the one to speak to him first.

“How did you get through that, Potter! Nothing better to do beside spy on us, do you?” This got a few chuckles and smug looks from the Slytherins, and a couple of the Gryffindors, namely the other parts of the Golden Trio, speak up. Harry just quirked a brow, knowing he was looking rather smug as he answered.

“These wards don't hold back Slytherin.” He said the last word a little slower, stressing the word. A couple of the older years eyes widened in understanding, while the majority of the house sneered harder, not getting it in the least. 

“Exactly, Potter.”  
“Exactly, Malfoy. The wards are made to let Slytherin’s in.” Draco’s smug face seemed to slacken, so Harry continued. “Really, great prank, but you guys have the worst of luck, to pick the one prank that doesn’t work on me.”

“HARRY? What are you talking about? You're a Gryffindor, like me!” Came Ron’s eager voice, this was going to be fun, Harry has been waiting years to crush the other two dreams, I mean, they had been stealing his money for years! He learned a lot the day after returning to the Dursleys after Hagrid brought him, he snuck back to the bank, intent on getting some help in learning how to deal with his accounts as the sole heir to the Potter fortune, the Goblin seemed a little surprised he came back to ask for help, and offered to pay even, so he brought him to a room where he mentioned conversationally how the letters he signed to give permission for transactions worked, but Harry stopped him there to tell him he never gave the okay for any transactions, and it grew from there. 

Harry rolled his eyes to the ceiling, asking that Lady Magic give him strength before turning to the fuming Ron and upset Hermione. 

“Oh please, how stupid are you two? Me? A Gryffindor?” 

“But Harry, we’re you're friends-” Harry snorted and grinned wickedly, making the two falter.

“Do you really think I’m you're friend? Now I know for sure how stupid you two are. Seriously, I don’t know why Dumbledore thought you two were the best choice to pay. You guys aren’t even Gryffindor’s! Dumbledore spelled the hat to sort you there, Ron’s a hufflepuff if I ever saw one, and Hermione’s a Ravenclaw. You two can’t lie for the life of you.”

“Yeah! Well I’ve never been your friend! I knew you were a slimey snake!” Ron yelled, his face bright red in embarrassment at being called a hufflepuff.

“I believe I just said that you dimwit. I should probably warn you, Ronald, you're family was still poor even when stealing from my vaults, imagine how shit-poor you’ll be when the goblins audit my accounts, 10% interest and all. Even the Order of the Flaming Flamingo’s will be too poor to afford Dumbledore’s atrocious robes.” The Slytherins and Gryffindors were at full attention, in shock at what their hearing.

“AT LEAST I HAVE FRIENDS, THE ONLY REASON YOU HAD ANY WAS BECAUSE WE WERE BEING PAID! NO ONE WOULD WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE LIKES OF YOU!” This had Harry laughing so hard he was wiping tears from his eyes.

“Honestly, Weasley I’ve known you were being paid since before first year! I’ve simply stuck with you two to stay under the radar, you thought I actually enjoyed your company? Or that I ever thought of either of you as friends? The only Gryffindor worth any time is Neville,” a little squeak was heard behind the Gryffindors, but was ignored. “See, the funny thing is that you two have no idea how to throw up proper silencing spells, so I know oh-so-much about Dumbledore and his plans, in fact, right now the goblins are delivering the case I’ve built the last six years against the old goat, and you two, to the Ministry and Daily Prophet. Won’t be long now before they release a special addition, I can see it now ‘Dumbledore, accused of child neglect, murder, illegal use of potions, use of potions on a minor, line theft, theft, illegal documentation, etc, etc’ the list goes on and on. Poor Ginny will never get married once word gets out she was being paid, not only to pleasure the old goat, but to slip me love potions to steal the Potter line, hell, Hermione you could have been going places, you are very smart, if not in the right ways, but you have no chance once the stories come out about you, and Ron… well you had no future to begin with.” 

Harry clapped his hands loudly, making everyone jump to attention, still shocked at what they just heard, Harry turned towards Draco and pinned him with his stare, making the blonde look at him wearily, Harry grinned and strode up to him, casting a silencing spell around them before speaking.

“Well, I'm about to drop the wards around Hogwarts so I can apparate to your manor and speak with your house guest, I just wanted to tell you that you're offer for friendship was only refused so I could pursue ruining the old man's life, Hopefully you will accept my friendship now?” at the nod he offered his hand, which Draco shock, shooting a smug look at the two Gryffindors, Harry rolled his eyes at the blonde. “Hey, look at me, I’m going to need a place to apparate to.” He slipped into Draco’s mind, much to the blondes shock and exited only to disapparate on spot to the manor, landing in Lucius Malfoy’s study, less than a foot away from a utterly shocked Dark Lord.

This was unexpected, was Harry’s first thought as he looked down at the sitting Tom Riddle, well an older Tom Riddle. He expected Voldemort, scaly skin and all, but here he was sitting in the study with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich lifted as if he was about to take a bite. Voldemort dropped the sandwich and reached for his wand, but Harry was faster, he quickly summoned Voldemort's wand, casting a levitation spell on the sandwich which he placed back on the plate. 

“Sorry, I honestly was aiming to land outside the study, not land practically in your lap. Hello, I’m Harry Potter, which I know you know, but I thought we could meet for real, without the old goat or any of his goons influencing my actions.” Voldemort stood up quickly, making Harry stumble back in surprise, and grabbed his wand from the boy's hand and leveled it at Harry’s face. Harry lifted up his hands in the universal sign that he was not going to cause harm. “Wait, Riddle, just…” Harry whistled loudly and a hoot was heard before Hedwig swooped in with a copy of the Daily Prophet, which she offered to Harry. “Read this, it will help this along immensely.”

Voldemort looked at the bird in shock, his wards were supposed to keep owls out, he checked the wards and saw that they were still in place, what the hell? He kept his wand leveled on the boy, ignoring his thoughts on how the boy apparated here, or got his owl here, but grabbed the paper, freezing as he read the headline ‘Albus Dumbledore accused of Child Neglect?’ under was a subline saying ‘Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived pressing charges against Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Ronald Weasley, Ginevra Weasley, and Hermione Granger, more information inside!’ Voldemort narrowed his eyes and lowered his wand, someone had a lot of explaining to do.


End file.
